Aborted Abortions #11

Aborted Abortions!, Page 11

4/20/01

I would like to express the sincere feeling that I have towards abortion. I am 29 years old and found out that I was pregnant back in October 2000. At first I had no idea what to think, being very confused and not to mention that I felt that I was in no way ready to be a mother. I mean, here I am ready to go back and finish my education and all of a sudden this "interruption" happens. I cannot say that with all the mixed emotions that I had and all the negative feedback that I got from my parents and others, I hadn't thought " all I would have to do is get RU-486 and I wouldn't have to alter my life". I had no insurance, no husband, no good paying job... all the things that I had planned on when it was the "right" time to get pregnant. Well, I thought back to the very many friends that had gotten pregnant and had abortions, some friends have had several abortions. At the time, when they were considering abortion, I would have pleaded with them--" please don't have an abortion, just carry your baby to term and adopt him/ her out". Their reactions was always, I couldn't bear to think that I have a child of mine out there, that I will never know how they are doing. Well, the end result was my friends had abortions. After they went through the procedure they really didn't have much to say and went on with their lives as if nothing ever had happened. When I look back at my "choice" it really wasn't a choice. As where my friends couldn't bear to think that they had children somewhere out in the world and what the children's lives would be like--- I couldn't think that for the rest of my life I would always think back to the tiny baby that I killed. I know that every time I heard a baby's cry or laughter, it would be such a painful reminder I would have this one decision with me for the rest of my life. I would have to answer to God why I had made the decision that I did... My only answer could be that I was selfish. Well, I am happy to say that God won't be asking me why I had an abortion because in a couple of weeks I will be giving birth to -hopefully- a healthy baby boy!!! I have had health complications throughout this pregnancy but there are no words to express how blessed I feel. My plans haven't changed; I am going back and finish my education -- probably in the spring semester of 2002. I truly feel that this child is going to be the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm so excited that I will be a mother soon!!!!! By the way, my family has come to term with my decision and have been the most supportive people that I could ever ask for :) :) Thank -you for the most educational web site......

God Bless --Christa

4/08/01

Hi, I am 15 years old and recently found out I was pregnant. When I found out
I didn’t know what to do. I'm still in school so I didn’t want to keep it. Only
a few of my friends knew about my pregnancy and they told me I should just
abort it. I knew I would have to because it would be so embarrassing for me to
have my family, friends and schoolmates see me pregnant. My friends mom was
going to take me to an abortion clinic and have it done. But I wanted to just
do a little research on the procedures and other stuff about it. I came
across your website, and I think I went through every single thing on it. And
I saw the pictures and everything. I was crying while looking and reading
everything on your site. And after a long night of being on your site, I
completely changed my mind on my decision. I realized I was about to murder a
baby...my baby. And although I am very young and haven’t even finished school,
I decided to go forth with my pregnancy and to keep my baby. Thanks to you
guys.
Seriously. My family didn’t take it so well, when I told them, they actually
told me to have an abortion. But I have made my decision thanks to your site.
And now I’m going to have a beautiful baby girl. And yeah I know it will be
so hard and I’m going to have home studies, but now I can always have someone
to live for, my daughter. Thank you all so much, you helped me save my baby’s
life. Thank you!

3/18/01

I was married and pregnant with our second child. He was unplanned, and we
had no medical insurance. After weighing my options regarding health care, I
opted to go to the public health clinic and be monitored by residents at a
local teaching hospital. My third visit there, the "doctor" measured me, and
said the baby was "abnormally small" and my alpha-beta protein levels were
high-he said I needed amniocentesis. I asked him why. He looked me in the
eye and said, "The baby is small, and the tests were high-this most likely
means the baby has Downs Syndrome, and you are not in a financial position to
raise a handicapped child" I was in tears the entire way home. I discussed
it with my husband, and we decided not to do the test. During the
ultrasound, the baby's "abnormal smallness", was confirmed, but he did not
have spina bifida. Again, I was advised to get an amnio done. Again, I
refused. I explained that, "It didn't make any difference to me" if the baby
did indeed have Downs. This caused an eye-roll and a sigh from the tech.
(This hospital does abortions up to 24 weeks) In the meantime, we had gotten
health insurance that covered the pregnancy, so I found a private physician
to cover the rest of the pregnancy and the delivery. She was wonderful! I
explained to her about the possibility of the Down's Syndrome, and she said
there was no point in getting the amniocentesis! (A woman after my own
heart!) We prepared for the possibility that our baby had Downs, and
proceeded with the pregnancy. He ended up being a C-Section, and I was under
general anesthesia, but the first question out of my husband's mouth
was-"Does he have Downs?" THe doctor looked at him, smiled and said, "No-he
is a beautiful, healthy baby boy!" It was also the first thing I asked when
I came to, and I saw my husband crying. I asked, and he said, "I guess the
baby just fooled the experts!" We named him Benjamin, which means, "Son of
the Right Hand of God" I am grateful that I had a supportive husband and the
determination to do what I knew was right! Benjamin is now a happy, healthy
7 yr old, and I am so grateful to have him in my life! I am sending a
picture of both of the kids at Christmas (they are the ones on Santa's lap)
They truly are gifts from God.

3/12/01

When I found out I was pregnant, I was a single mother with no resources
and no education. I was still living at home with my parents but was fairly
certain that I would be thrown out upon telling them of my pregnancy. Things
were already bad enough at home; they already acted like they hated me. To
make things even worse, the baby's "father" had even less means to raise a
baby than me, but he was sure that he could. I was sure that the baby would
lead a terrible life if his father raised him because there was no possible
way that his father could raise him and earn enough money to live on. The
only way that he could handle things would be to leave the baby with his
abusive mother who had smoked, drank and done drugs during pregnancy, and
beaten and othewise abused her children after birth. To make a bad situation
even worse, the baby's "father" and I were no longer together by the time I
was one month pregnant.
I was a good "church girl"-everyone would be shocked and extremely
disappointed if they found out I was pregnant. It would completely change
everyone's image of me. So many thought so highly of me.
It seemed hopeless to go through with the pregnancy. It seemed so easy
to fix things with just one doctor's appointment. Then I could resume my
normal life (and graduate from high school without being put to shame!)
Many of the things I feared never came true, though. When I told my
parents I was pregnant via letter, they called me to tell me that things
would be warm and supportive when I came home. They were just that-warm and
supportive. In fact, when I returned home was the nicest they had been to me
in years. The baby's father and I got back together, and he grew up to be a
responsible adult and excellent father of his baby. We never had to worry
about his abusive mother seeing the baby because she left us alone. Through
one phone call she was informed that she would not be allowed to see the baby
and she hasn't bothered us since. We have not had any custody battles and
have agreed that we never will, even if we do not end up getting married.
After all, we're best friends. At school I developed many friends just
because of the pregnancy. Not once did anyone say anything negative to me
about the fact that I was pregnant. Rather than being "shunned" by my church
family, I was welcomed with open arms. In fact, out of the 39 babies born to
members of our congregation at Saint Mark's last year, I believe my son is
the only one known and recognized by at least 70% of the 250 member
congregation. Everyone takes the time to say hello to Gabriel when they're
at church. During many services I don't get to hold him at all because
members of the congregation are "borrowing" him. My son and I are still at
home with my parents being "warmly supported," though the baby's father (who
will most likely be my husband some day) sends substantial amounts of money
quite often. I am currently a full-time college student taking telecourses,
a way to earn college credit just like other students from my home. I will
probably graduate only one or maybe two semesters behind my peers who do not
have babies.
As I watch my son grow and reach the many milestones, and most of all
look at me with love and call be my name-mom, I can't believe that I ever
considered an abortion. Though things looked completely hopeless in the
beginning and an abortion seemed like the answer, it was the worst thing that
I could have done. The best decision that I ever made was to go through with
the pregnancy.
My son, Gabriel, was named after the angel Gabriel who appeared to the
virgin Mary. He told her that even though she was a single mother and her
situation looked grim (since the penalty for pregnancy out of wedlock was
death) that everything would be fine if she just kept her eyes on God. I
have discovered this to be true in my own life.

3/10/01

I have a story as follows:

I found out I was pregnant in March of 1999. I found out because I couldn't
quit throwing up. I found out that I had a disorder called hyperemesis
gravidarum (latin for excessive vomiting until death). Doctors can treat
this with IV fluids and hyperalimentation (feeding tube in heart artery).
But, mine wasn't responding and my health was declining rapidly by the end of
the first trimester.

I was so afraid and depressed and my husband was, too. I made an appointment
to go get an abortion. My friends said it was best but my husband had always
wanted to be a father ever since we met. He wept all day and night and
begged me not to go. I was so dehydrated and sleepless, I can't remember
much.

I went in and they immediately began the testing of my urine, etc.. without
so much as a "how are you". An eighteen year old girl performed a vaginal
ultrasound with the screen away. The girls made jokes about the ultrasound
while they looked on at the baby about to be sucked from his warm home. I
guess they have to cope with what they do, too.

I was too sick to have it that day. I was told to go to my OB or the ER for
iv fluid replacement. My husband was so relieved to have more time to talk
me out of it. But he didn't need to anymore. When I demanded to see the
ultrasound photograph, I saw my little peanut for the first time. All warm
and floating around waiting to meet mom and dad. He didn't look sick or
deformed and I knew I would rather die trying to have this baby than to live
knowing I chose myself over him.

Around seven months, I was taken off the iv and continued on oral meds and a
special diet. On December 6, 1999, after two gentle pushes, I gave birth to
an seven pound-eight ounce baby boy.

When I see how sweet he is and how much he changed my husband and me for the
best, I cringe at his narrow escape from death. I could have had ten other
children, but they wouldn't be him. God spared my bad decision and I still
feel guilt. But, at the end of the day, I know I worked hard and suffered for
my baby and he is worth every second of sickness I endured.

2/19/01

I came across your website earlier this year. the graphic and truthful information on your site was very helpful for me to understand what abortion was really about.

In June I found I was pregnant. this pregnancy was unplanned. I was scared. my boyfriend had suggested me to get an abortion. He had told me if I get one I could move on with life, the baby would go to heaven and God would forgive me. but in my heart abortion didn't seem right thing to do. I was uneducated about the whole abortion idea until I came upon your website. Then I made my choice.

I'm now 8 months pregnant. I am not with my boyfriend anymore, but that didn't stop me from doing what is best for my child's life and future.

Maybe more people will change their minds about abortion...and it might just save a life too.

Thank you!
-Marie

1/1/01

Hello. My name is Jackie I am 23 years old, just gave birth to my daughter
(my 2nd child) on October 24,2000 and I am pregnant with my third. My
road was not an easy one. I became pregnant with my son (my first child)
at the age of 20 after (and I am ashamed to say it but the truth
helps) having a one night stand with a married man. When I found out I was
quite shocked and I called the man and he said "have an abortion I will
pay for it." I told him this was not an option and went on to have a very
complicated pregnancy with diabetes etc...my son was also in the ICU for
three weeks. From the moment my son was born I KNEW I had made the right
choice. He was so beautiful and he made all these little facial
expressions and I just loved him so much. In fact when he was 9 weeks in
the womb I had some bleeding and I went to the ER and had an emergency
ultrasound and he was SWIMMING around my uterus. I am not going to tell
you it is always easy. It isn't. That does not mean that we have the right
to kill the baby. They did not make the decision to have sex and they
should not be punished for our mistakes. My son is now a very very happy
and healthy 2 1/2 year old with the same spunk and personality that he
had in the womb. When I was 22 I was dating a man I had been seeing for
three years. I got pregnant and he fought with me and fought with me and
told me, "I do not love you enough to have a child with you. Have an
abortion" He had told me so many times how much he loved me even the day
before I took the test. The minute I found out he got very cold to me
stopped talking and wanting to see me as much and started complaining and
being horrible to me. I was SO hurt and so scared about being a single mom
of TWO. Then he dumped me. I was so upset and alone and really really
scared and I did not think I could do it. I even went so far as to call
planned parenthood and make an abortion appointment. I just did not think I
could do it (be a single mom again). Then I got online and saw some
pictures of what happened to aborted fetuses and I examined my feelings
and If I would be able to live with this and I decided I would not be. It
was wrong. No matter how hard it was I had to do it because my child did
not ask to be conceived and I as an adult had a responsibility. My
boyfriend and I started talking and he took me to buy food and gradually
we got back together. We decided to move in together a month before the
baby was born. We had a rocky start but we really started to get along and
fall in love with each other REALLY. He was there with me when I gave
birth and from that moment on he has not stopped telling me how much he
loves me and how much he loves his daughter. He is a wonderful father. I
am NOT saying that all are lucky enough to have an ending like this. I was
on the other end of it too. I am saying that this can make a couple CLOSER
than you ever though. I did not believe it either. Sometimes men need time
too. in this culture of abortion men can get very desensitized to life. It
can take a strong MOTHER to stick up for her children and do the right
thing. WE carry the child. WE nurture them! WE support and raise them! He is
always telling me how much he respects me and the choice I made and he is
so HURT by what he tried to get me to do to his daughter (killing her)
that he cries when he looks at her and says "I am so sorry, I am so
sorry". If a MAN who does not feel the baby grow and carry it for 9 months
feels this way IMAGINE how you will feel. My daughter was born on 10/24/00
as I said and she is SO pretty and expressive. We are both TOTALLY in love
with her. We also got married 3 weeks after she was born. And as I said are
having another child.

Jacqueline M.

12/1/00

I became pregnant when I was 15 years old. I had my little girl at the age of 16. I was a high risk pregnancy and nearly died several times through out the pregnancy but I fought to keep that little girl the whole way through. She is now ten months and I think every single minute was worth it.

I don't understand how someone can get an abortion! I fought so hard to keep what they can throw away so easily! I can't stand the vanity of today’ society. A life is a life no matter how small it is or how young it is either. The moment you start having sex should be the moment you are ready to take on the responsibility of a child. That is the way I have lived my life and I have a beautiful girl and a lot of respect for my decision and I just want to thank you for supporting the preservation of life. I have always been against abortion. Unless keeping the child is going to kill you or the child will be born dead and they know that for sure, then there is no reason for abortion.

Leta

1/1/01

Jacqueline M.

12/1/00

Leta

11/19/00

I am 23 now my son is 5yrs old. I was 16 when I found out I was pregnant. The
problem here is I went to Planned Parenthood to find out if I was, and they
wouldn't let my mom go back. They tested me and I found out I was pregnant.
Well I had no intentions of getting an abortion. But they kept on at me and
on at me and I told them I just wanted to talk to my mom. They told me I was
too young, that I needed to do this, and they had me look at documents about
it, and then started in on the adoption thing cuz they realized they wasn’t
gonna get anywhere with the abortion thing.

Granted the guy who got me pregnant wasn't there for me, and a lot of times
the people at planned parent hood play of your emotions what will your parents
say, and that’s a lot to take on and this and that. Well the way I saw it I
made my bed so I lie in it because it is not my son's fault that I went out
and had sex. Of course there was a lot of sickness with this and I was high
risk and I had no idea what I was getting myself into but I am glad that I
kept him. But the only thing I regret through out this whole thing is who
his dad is.

I think a lot of problems with people having abortions is the lack of
knowledge about them and what it does to the baby and if I was gonna have
one and I viewed all these pics on the pic site that would really bring it
home that I was killing a little life and I couldn't do it no matter what. I
think that if people are more aware and stop this crap of its not a life
until its a certain amount of weeks then maybe it would be better
understood that it is a living breathing little person.

And the best part was the last months, it was the most awesome thing. God did
well with it. I am glad y'all have a site up It really brings the reality
home about what it does to a baby. I love my son and he loves me back and
there's nothing he could have done nor will do that would make me wanna take
his life in any manner all he did was live and want a chance at life.

Tek Shaw

11/13/00

Hi,
I've just finished reading a lot of the letters posted on your site. I must say, your site is UNBELIEVABLE. It's absolutely wonderful to see a site that holds
nothing back and shows things the way they really are. After reading the letters posted, I felt compelled to write to you and share my story. Although mine ends a
little differently than most. In August of 1998 I discovered that I was pregnant. I was in complete shock. I knew my mom, and the rest of my family would be soooooo disappointed in me. I didn't know what to do, I was 20 years old. My boyfriend, was a rare breed! He stood by me 100% and wanted me to have the baby. He was totally AGAINST abortion! So, it was ME who made the ungodly decision to kill my baby. I called around many different places to find out information. The cheapest one was located in a city about 2 hours from where I live. It was going to cost
almost $1000.00 to do this. Neither I, nor my boyfriend had that kind of money. Although, he did have great credit, so we took out a loan. (By the way, he was totally against this entire abortion, but I somehow deceived him into thinking it was the "Right thing to do".) So, we took off one morning, headed to the city where this would be performed. When we got there of course, there were pro-life advocates outside the front door. I felt like I was going to puke when they all starting telling me how I was going straight to Hell. I went in, did the paperwork, etc. Sat in a
waiting room with other mothers who were there to kill their babies. No one really said much, there seemed to be a kind of "dead" silence (no pun intended) kinda
hanging over the room. When, after what seemed like an eternity, I finally went into the "room". They told me to strip and put on a hospital gown. In a monotone voice, they told me that I did have alternatives. Although they didn't really seem very
excited to try to change my mind. I laid down on a cold rolling bed. Only to find out that while I was committing murder, not only would there be a nurse there to stick things inside me and pick and probe, there was also a nurse in "training" there. Let me just say that didn't make me any more comfortable. So, they put an ultrasound belt around my stomach to locate the baby. I purposely looked AWAY from the
screen. When all of a sudden I heard the nurse say, "Umm, we have a problem here." A problem I thought??? What kind of problem? She then goes on to inform me that I am too pregnant to have an abortion and starts asking if I’d seen a doctor yet. I told her no, that I’d just found out. Well, she let me know that I was 32 weeks pregnant!!!!! Unreal huh??? Not only was I pregnant, I was 32 weeks pregnant. Some people still to this day do not believe me when I say that I did
not know. Anyway, since I was a young girl, I’d always had problems with missing menstrual periods, sometimes I’d skip months at a time. I had been seen by doctors and they all said I was completely healthy, and that was just how my body worked. So, no period was not a clue for me, I never felt the baby kick either. (I know this sounds hard to believe it's true) So at any rate, when I found out, I was in
COMPLETE shock. I knew nothing about pregnancy or what it meant to be "32 weeks pregnant". There was another lady that I talked to that told me that I could still have the abortion but I would have to fly to some state out west (forgot where) and that there was a 45% chance of the mother dying during abortions performed this late in the pregnancy. I was utterly confused. Not only had I made the gut-wrenching decision to kill my baby. Now I was being told that I couldn't do it like I’d wanted to, but had to go somewhere for almost a week, pay thousands of dollars and risk my own life. Well, this is when the story gets good. I went out, told my boyfriend what happened, and he started crying, he was happy that it hadn't went through. He was totally against the abortion from the very beginning. We made the decision that we would have to keep the baby. I also decided that if I carried it till it was born, there was no way I could give it up for adoption. My mother and his mother were SO supportive. They were excited even. THANK GOD for them. I feel so utterly horrible for women who have no one around them to help and give them support in during a time like this that is so emotional and critical. I have no idea how lucky I was. Well, to make a long story even longer, my baby
girl has just turned 2 on Oct. 16th. She's unreal. I call her my "miracle baby". Not only did she survive for 32 weeks without proper care, nutrition and vitamins, but I, her mother, tried to kill her. That's something I think about EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE. And I will have to face God and tell him why I wanted to kill my own living, breathing, healthy baby. I hope that other's that read this may come to
understand, like I finally did, that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. We may not understand why or how, but it WILL work out in the end. If my baby's normal, healthy life is not a sign from God, after all she went through, I don't know what is. He wanted my baby to live, that's evident. God has a plan for everything, and he doesn't make mistakes.....human's take care of that part on their own. Thank you for letting me share my story. Thank God that I couldn't have the abortion that I wanted 2 years ago. Thank God for that, because I wouldn't have my beautiful
"Miracle Baby" to love. I pray for each and every woman who may have already had an abortion, or who may be thinking about it. If you've already had one, just
know that God DOES forgive (even if you think there's no way he could forgive you). If you're thinking about it, take a GOOD, HARD look at the evidence presented on this and other websites. Just know that you're choice is between you and God, I’m not here to judge you, and neither is anyone else. He makes the final
decisions. Thanks again.

JG

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