Abortion Letters, 2

Letters From Those
Who've Had Abortions

Page 2

2/3/00

HI, I had an abortion when I was about 16 years old. I am now 26. My mother found out I was pregnant and made me have an abortion. I didn't know what to do. I woke up each morning thinking I was in a bad dream. I was so young I didn't even know what was going on or what my opinion should even be on abortion. I was forced to have one because it would ruin my life and embarrass
the family.
      I got pregnant again at the age of 19 and my parents didn't know so I had another abortion. I was kind of made to think it was a way of life. A woman waiting to get an abortion with me asked me why I was getting one, because I was plenty old enough to have one. I didn't even let her words faze me. She had three children already and now I wonder why she was there, too.
     At the age of 23 I had got pregnant again. I decided to have my baby. I never would regret my decision on giving her life. I do how ever regret not giving my two unborn children a chance. I was young and naieve. I had recently had my fourth pregnancy. I give my abortions allot of thought. My mother was not happy for me when I announced I was having a baby, either time. Although, she is thrilled to death that they are here. I feel she made me to think that being pregnant is not a good thing. Like it's some evil state to be in. After loving my children I can't believe what I have done and I often find myself in depression with no one to turn to. My husband today is the same person I have been with through all my pregnancies. He tries to make me see that It was okay. That I did what I had to do. I don't know if he tells me this to prevent me from further going into insanity. They
where also apart of him. I will never support abortion. I was pro- choice but I have learned that pro-life is the right and only choice. When your young and don't want to be pregnant you don't think of that little being in the same way as when you do when you grow older. If my girls get pregnant young, I hope I have the strength to stand by a decision we can all live
with. Pro Life!

                                                     Sunshine

2/3/00

I just wanted to YELL at your site. PRAISE GOD for it!!! I read some of the most recent letters you had posted, the majority being positive.

Some people aren't affected by reading xeroxed copied pamphlets that you hand out in front of Planned Parenthood. I Know!! I made the ultimate mistake of aborting my child in June of 1988, I was 19 years old. If only if I had seen this horrible pictures and watched the Silent Scream and the Hard Truth videos I would NOT have made that MISTAKE!!! Some people need facts and pictures. I did not know the medical procedure until years later. I was unaware of the risks that came after having an abortion. I thought like they tell you, it's not considered a child until after 3 months!!! When I went to Planned Parenthood all they wanted was my money. No One ever counseled me or asked ARE YOU SURE??

Just to give you a background on my health. When I was 15 years old, I was date raped. I in turn became pregnant as a result of this rape. I denied being pregnant and brainwashed myself that I wasn't. My older sister approached me and told me she would pay for an abortion, she too had one before. So being a young, immature teen I thought it was okay. But when she took me to the clinic I was six months pregnant! I was barely showing. They would not perform the abortion ..Thank GOD ! And God totally took a bad situation and turned it into a Blessing for a couple who were not able to have children.

Then when I was 19 years old and became pregnant by my then boyfriend of 23 years of age, he wanted it, I couldn't see myself going through the whole pregnancy thing again. I was SELFISH. So yes I had an abortion.

In 1995 I became pregnant again and we wanted to keep our baby and were happy. I miscarried at 10 weeks. I did not have any pain or cramping, just little bleeding. I had to have the D&C performed on my birthday.

In 1997 I became pregnant again, miscarried again, same story.... I told the nurse that I had a baby when I was 15 years old, natural childbirth...labor was two hours! The nurse said since I had carried a child to term before and had a healthy pregnancy then it was probably due to the abortion and D&Cs from the miscarriages, which can leave uterine scarring and also may result in INCOMPETENT CERVIX which only results in MORE problems.

A month later I became pregnant again...everything was ok...although I had spotting and minor cramping during the first and second trimesters. By the time I was 4 months pregnant I was told I had COMPLETE PLACENTA PREVIA. I already have Chronic Asthma and now this!!!

My activities were very limited, no sex for the remainder of the pregnancy, no vacuuming, etc...
Thank GOD, the placenta did move towards the end of my pregnancy. however, my water bag broke 6 weeks early. And I had to be induced because I was running a fever. My son came out at 6 lbs. and was breathing irregular and had to be rushed to NICU. Because of the Grace of God my baby was FINE !!! His learning development was a little slow the first 18 months of his life, but now he is up to where he should be and beyond!

I read some other sections of your site and came across the risks of abortion...higher miscarriage rate and early labor. These both happened to me. My OB/GYN said if I ever wanted to have more children I would most likely have the same condition of placenta previa. Currently I do not want anymore children. I am a single mom and have been abstinent for over two years now.

Adoption is wonderful but it is VERY HARD DECISION to make. In my situation it was easier for me because I was raped. However, Amanda already has a bond with her child now. Children DO need both parents in their life, however; just because a child does not have both parents does NOT mean that that parent cannot be a loving parent. The majority of people I know today are from single parent family homes. I no longer believe in abortion. I do believe in Adoption; however I think it is NOT nice to pressure someone into adoption, just because they are a single mom and they say it's hard. I read Amanda's letter I was touched by it. YES she's a young single mom. SO WHAT! She loves her child. Yes it's hard being a single mom..it's hard being a PARENT PERIOD! I don't know...I just don't appreciate it when other people "down" single parents I am a borne-again Christian and I know that pre-martial sex is a sin. We all sin everyday, however; that does not mean that we being single have to give up our children to a married couple. Maybe the relationship we were in was Illegitimate but the child is not. God entrusted US single moms to have HIS children. They're not ours, He's only lent them to us for a short while. Many women choose abortion because they don't want to have the baby alone. We made the choice to have our children regardless if we were going to be with their father or not. Anyway, I agree with that writer on Adoption, however; I felt that there was pressure being placed on Amanda and I did not appreciate it. Hugs to Amanda and a BIG PAT on the back for taking on
the most important job in the world ...BEING A MOMMY!!!!

AND BIG HUGS TO ALL MOTHERS WHO DECIDED TO KEEP THEIR BABIES!!!!

and BIG HUGS to the women who like me had an abortion and regret it to this day. I struggle with it also. But the Lord will forgive you...all you have to do is ask :)

GOD BLESS YOU

Mikki L.

1/27/00

I'm not writing to yell. I'm only writing because I wish I had saw those pictures before I aborted my child. I thought I was doing the right thing and had all of the correct information I was so wrong. I saw pamphlets on how abortion is safe and where you can go get one but never any pamphlets with information like this. Now today I sit here and wonder was it a boy or was it a girl? Was he or she gonna have blue eyes or green eyes? Was he or she gonna have blonde hair or brown hair. Anyway that is all I can do is sit here and wonder because 3 years ago I was selfish and only thought of myself not the child that was growing inside me God only knows the answer to those questions I sure don't because I was to selfish to give my child the right to live I had the right to chose but did my child? NO!!! I took that from him or her! How I only wish I had all the information or saw that video three years ago! I can only hope and pray that someday God will forgive me and I also pray for that little life that I killed!

C E

1/16/00

I would just like to say I am glad someone put this website up, only I wish I had seen it two years ago when I had an abortion. I know it was probably the right thing to do considering my age (14). But it was not my choice it was my mother's ..... I remember on the day of the abortion I refused to go to the clinic I was only forced to by my mom, my dad and his girlfriend told me I didn't have to go through with it if I didn't want to but the next morning my mom arrived to drive me and my ex-boyfriend to the clinic and I was in tears at the thought of what I was doing to my child but in the end I had the operation done. It was on of the most painful things I had ever felt. The procedure itself was only two minutes long but the pain physically and emotionally was enough to last me a life time. I threw up after and the recuperating room and my ex-boyfriend bought me roses and gave them to me, and to this day I have kept them dried in a safe place, and I also kept a copy of the ultrasound that is one of the most valuable things I own. I thought my pain and suffering was over that day but I was wrong ....... that night at my ex's birthday party I fell asleep on his couch and I had this dream of my child screaming and when I found her she was torn and covered in blood and woke up crying. For months after that I still got dreams when ever I slept, and developed a slight case of insomnia because I was too scared to sleep because of my dreams. I am over the worst part now but I still do get dreams at least once a week, and I wish I had never had the abortion. I just want people to know that it's not over in the operation room and they should think long and hard about their decision. I hope this helps some people as well on their choice.

~Lydia

1/5/00

Hi my name is Amanda! I am 16 but will be 17 in 15 days. The date is Jan.5th. But on Oct.15th I had my first abortion.I think abortion is really wrong and I would have never got one if I really knew what was going on. I was actually forced to by my parents and I say this b/c I had to choose between the love of my baby and my parents. Well, here's my story I began having sex at early
15 only looking for love and attention. Which later realized that is not what I was getting. I had sex with a guy I knew maybe a year and then later on found out I was pregnant. I was shocked but in a way glad b/c I love kids. As I told my parents I got the impression which I never expected ( it was only b/c I'm white and he was black). I had no one on my side. I was so upset. All I wanted was for someone to tell me they loved me and they would be behind me 100%. I never got that so mom made the appointment. As I walked in the doors for the appointment everyone looks up. I sit down embarrassed of being there. My eyes are filled with tears. They begin calling names and I am the next to be called back and asked to get dressed in some little pieces of clothes. I go and sit back down and am asked to go get my ultrasound. I go into a room and some jelly stuff is spread on my belly, it's cold and as I look into the monitor I see my tiny baby. I can see the whole body, I see the heart beating and I ask the women is the baby healthy she says yes. She tells me that I was 12 1/2 weeks so then I know it is not my boyfriends it is a guy I slept with only one time. I go outside to tell mama thinking it would be a bit easier now. Then I'm called back to the room it would all take place. I am asked to climb on the table , lie down ,and put my feet up. As I lie down on the cold table I had a feeling like no other. My heart began to beat fast, It almost hurt to breath, I began to shake all over and am asked to stay still. I tell mama I didn't want to do this, please mama I say, she replies it will all be over in a minute. I lay there knowing what's going on and cry loudly. What is said to be six minutes seems a lifetime. Then I'm sent to a recovery room for an hour. Everyone seemed so relieved but not me I'm longing for what I have just let go. I go home and still remember the sounds of the machine,the cold table, and every thought. Not until a couple days later did it really seem to hit. I began to go into a deep depression and still blame my parents. I always think about on may 15th I would be having a baby. I'm young but still know the feeling of heartache. I cry out all the time. I have nightmares that are awful and wake up screaming. I have flashbacks all the time. And sometimes I dream of what the baby would have been like and think of the fun things we would have been able to do together. The crazy thing is sometimes I still imagine the baby being there and feel something that is almost like a baby kicking in my stomach. I truly regret this and only wish I could take it back. The baby is in my every thought. I would love to talk to people who have had one or are thinking of it so email me at girlchick123@aol.com.

Thanks, Amanda

12/28/99

In August of 1988 I was 18 yrs old and just graduated from a career center and high school. I found out I was pregnant by a boy I new from school. He was 2 years older with 2 children of his own he was not supporting. He beat and raped me the entire time I new him. Each time I tried to get away he would follow me and attack me again. In December of that year I was diagnosed with an infection. He was also a chronic drug user who infected me. I went to have the abortion and I saw plenty of young girls just like myself giving every excuse in the world why they did not want there future to be blocked because of a MISTAKE like this. Although I was attacked and given an infection, I new I had a life inside of me. I tried to get him prosecuted, and put the baby up for adoption. I was told by my mother that I was disgusting, I should never expose my business by trying to let anyone know of the rape. I felt dirty and ashamed. The abortion took all of five minutes and I was not allowed to see anything that was extracted. I had a never ending pain in my lower abdomen ever since. I wanted so dearly for someone to talk to me about the alternatives but everyone in the clinic thought it was best I get the procedure. By the end of the day, my money was gone, I was still ill from the infection, and the dangerous father of the child is still at large. How I regret making those decisions as a lonely young girl who removed an innocent life from existence. It is 12 years later and I'm expecting with a wonderful husband and I also have a precious 8 year old son. I would absolutely consider adoption If was facing the same problems today. NEVER ABORTION

Tonya L.

11/9/99

I don't think I'm ready for this, but I need someone to hear me. I'm almost 20, and had an abortion last Friday. I'd read the site, but abortion was never really an issue in my heart, I wanted my baby, my boyfriend however did not. After two years, you don't think someone could really leave you over a baby, especially their own, but now I know that's where we get single mom's. So what were my reasons? I looked at how it would effect everyone except for myself and MY BABY. I never even thought about myself (I didn't think anyone cared). Most women hear their baby's heart beat as a first step in pregnancy. I saw my baby on my first visit to the abortion clinic. At 14 weeks, I already wanted to hold it, it was so much bigger than I thought, so defined. I watched my baby's fast heart beat, it's little chest rise and fall, and I watched it kick as she moved the ultrasound wand. My baby. I'll take that image to my grave. The next day I returned for the
operation, why? Because two people took time off work to take me, not because I wanted to be there. I know I took things harder than most, but I'll never forget the sounds , I don't feel anyone human could. I didn't judge any of the girls in the recovery room for their decisions, but it hurt me that most of them showed no remorse and instead, relief. I live now in regret. And there's nothing I can do. I read another letter in your columns, a girl stated that she'd killed someone and it was legal. I too questioned why I wasn't in jail. It was even worse than killing your neighbor, I killed my
baby. I could not wish my experience on my worst enemy. I know I'm not stable right now, but I just want to help ONE person, only one if I could.. LISTEN TO YOUR HEART, you can do it! There are organizations to help you, and most of all support is almost anywhere if you look... I know that now. I am on the road to recovery, coping with my decision, but forever a piece of my heart will of been left at that clinic.

Good luck.
H.L.

11/6/99

It's funny, when I was sixteen I saw what an abortion was but the women were in their sixth month or so. But you show, small fetuses. My god!! I have had three abortions, one I had 4 months of pregnancy then the other 2 1/2 and the other one I had 2 months. I am a murderer and its not even against the law. Someone has to do something this has to stop. I might even be pregnant now, I am so irresponsible. My boyfriend decided not to wear a condom and I let him. We aborted twins not to long ago. May god forgive me for my sins. But I will not have another
abortion. Thank you for providing those terrible pictures, they have opened to my eyes to what we young women (and some older women) are doing. You should publish that where everyone can see it.

May life bring you happiness.
G

10/1/99

Hi my name is Dani and I am 22 years old until recently I never knew what abortion actually did I have had 2 abortions and I also have 2 children and 2 more on the way and I am with the father of my children. After going through your site I and making my self look at the pictures of the abortion's I am really suffering from horrible guilt and am hating myself. I am not blaming this site at all I just never knew and I am very very sorry for what I have done. Thank You for having a site like this I pray to God that more women and men who pressure us women to have abortions see this site first before having it done I know it will change there minds. I just pray that God can forgive me for what I have done because I really don't think I will ever forgive myself. please to
anyone who reads this, this is a guilt you will live with for the rest of your life and when and if you ever do have children you will look at them and and ask your self what if ?? Trust me there are plenty of women who cant have children who would give there last breath for your unborn child. Thank You for reading this and having a E-mail for me to write it to.

Dn-----@aol.com

8/25/99

Dear Abortion TV,

My son should of been born in Mar. 99, but my girlfriend went behind my back and had an abortion. I am against abortion and she knew that but she didn't want to ruin her life as she said. She not only ruined the life of my son but she cannot have another baby because of infections caused by the abortion. Everyone needs to know that abortion not only is MURDER of a
human being but can also be MURDER to the mother. So called "safe abortions" kill too many mothers each year.

Thank you,
Brad

Note: although this letter is incongruent with the page title, we felt it had an important message for all.

AbortionTV

8/16/99

I wish I had seen this information two years ago. Every day of my life until the day I die I will live with what I did to my child. The pain never goes away. I would like for anyone who is contemplating an abortion to know that it is not an answer and it is not an easy way out. I have two children,and giving birth and raising babies is much easier than living and dealing with
the pain that you will feel when one day you wake up and realize that you murdered your child, and there is nothing that you can do to change that.You can not take abortion back,it will haunt you for the rest of your life.I pray to the lord for forgiveness,and I also pray for another chance to give my baby life. The only thought that enables me to keep a grip on my sanity is knowing that the Lord Jesus Christ is holding and loving my sweet baby in his hands.

Je-------@aol.com

7/25/99

Out of curiosity, I decided to look into your site, never to imagine I would see what I saw. It hurt to see the pictures of babies being tortured. Most of all it hurt because I had done an abortion not too long ago. I'm only 18 years old and I found myself at a point in life where I was very confused. I've been holding so much responsibilities, paying rent, bills, going to school and working. I knew that I wasn't ready for a child. I'm a child myself. Sometimes in life, you do mistakes and learn from them. My mistake was engaging in unsafe sex. I was 12 weeks pregnant. I was very depressed. I just think about how old my baby would have been now.... Maybe if I would have seen such pictures before.... Maybe I could avoid the guilt that I feel know, or the pain I felt in the abortion room. I remember after the procedure, when I woke up, I was crying. Crying from confusion, from how drugged I felt from the anesthesia, from the guilt and the strange emptiness I felt inside. I remember I kept thinking to myself, "God, I'm sorry, God, I'm sorry...." I was well aware of the other girls looking at me. It's funny how most of them didn't seemed the least bit in pain. I didn't care what they thought about me. There was a male recovery assistant in the room. He looked at me and asked me if I was okay with a slight smile on his face. I told him yeah, though inside I was screaming- screaming back for time, screaming for my little baby to come back, screaming for the pain and guilt to go away, screaming for comfort and for someone to tell me everything will be okay. I swear that whenever I go back to think about it, I could still feel the scraping inside of me. I was never up for abortion, but then again I thought I would never put myself in that predictament. Now I'm on birth conrol pills. It's a shame that I had to go through an abortion just to start having safe sex. I know that if more people talk about their experiences atleast it can prepare others. I congratulate your site, for being so blunt. For showing people what it's really like inside those clinics. Keep up the good work and good intentions.

God Bless,

Mariana

6/28/99

Eight years ago this month, I aborted my son, Jacob Matthew, at seventeen weeks. At the time, I was in an abusive marriage. My former husband had moved in with another woman, leaving me alone and pregnant.He manipulated me into thinking I couldn't raise our son
alone, and that my pregnancy would "destroy my body." He convinced me that I would be alone forever if I carried the baby to term. I believed every word of it. In desperation and anger, I made the decision to have an abortion. through the efforts and advice of my division officer (I was in the military), friends, and even my father, "I would rather you have an abortion than place my grandson for adoption," I was lead to believe it was the best "choice" for everyone. I thought it was even the best decision for my son, who had no chance to voice an opinion. I fell for the planned parenthood lies about adoption. I didn't want to give my baby away. The "counselor" at the clinic told me I was smart for taking "power" and "control" of my life. They never told me how any of the risks about abortion by dilation and extraction. they never mentioned that I may have complications in later pregnancies, or become sterile altogether. They never told how much abortion would hurt me, emotionally and physically. And, of course, they never once mentioned what was going to be done to my unborn son. By taking "power" and "control" of my life and having an abortion, I lost control. Upon waking up in the clinic, I realized the horrid mistake I had made and the finality of what I had done. I immediately wanted to feel my baby inside me and felt instead only a sick emptiness in my gut. The room was full of crying, hysterical girls. There was no comforting reassurance from the cold nurses who, only the day before, had been smiling and cheerful, only a "hurry up and get out of here" attitude. I felt abused and used and dirty. That feeling only got worse when I returned to work without a pregnant belly to the astonished questions of coworkers. The days and weeks went by, but life got no better. The father came home and in desperation, I tried to have another baby right away to replace Jacob. The second pregnancy ended in miscarriage, the third was complicated by a bowel obstruction from scarring caused by the abortion. I had major surgery at six months pregnant, almost died, and almost lost my daughter. Amazingly, the doctors offered to "compassionately" abort my child and let her "die peacefully in my arms." I refused to sign any paperwork allowing this. Three months later, I deliver a healthy baby girl, my only child by emergency c-section. I could never deliver her normally, the abortion damaged my cervix so I couldn't dialate. Another pregnancy following was an ectopic, a direct result of the scarring caused by abortion. I lost the baby and had a hysterectomy at the age of twenty-seven. My daughter was only a year old. I can't have any more children, thanks to my "choice." I can't describe how abortion altered, almost destroyed my life. I spent years in denial and guilt, sleepless with nightmares, and emotional problems. I was in and out of professional therapy, thought of suicide and had severe problems with relationships. The father of my aborted child and my living daughter left my life shortly after her birth. I ended up a single parent anyway! However, I found I can do it, and I could have kept and raised my son too. When I learned, years later, what I had a hand in doing to my son, the pain he must have felt, I was devastated and wanted to die as well. It was only through counseling and Christ that I was able to overcome that time. Today, I am remarried to a man who adopted my daughter and we have adopted a newborn baby boy whose mother chose life. I thank God for both of them each day. My advice to anyone being pressured to abort is never, never let another person persuade you into thinking that is the only available choice. How can anyone claim to care, love, or want the best for you and ask you to abort the life of your precious child? How can they love you and put you in harm's way? No one who would have their pregnant wife, girlfriend, or daughter cares about what is best. They are truly only thinking of themselves. Plenty of people have unplanned babies. I have yet to hear of one mother who wishes she'd aborted her children after they are born. I
wish I had never set foot in a planned parenthood clinic. I will tell anyone who asks the truth, abortion destroys women. It doesn't empower them or help them. Abortion destroys lives, mothers, children, and families. I will forever regret buying into the lie.

sincerely,

Lorraine

6/22/99

I had an abortion 10 years ago to date. I cant have children because of an infection I contracted after my abortion. I'm 25 years old. I beg people to practice safe sex. I didn't think it could happen to me and it did. I'm a smart girl but it still happens. I used to be pro-choice to an extreme and hate all pro lifers. I definitely have changed my mind after seeing the online movie "the silent scream". I can only imagine what my poor baby went through. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about my child. When I decided to get my abortion at 15 (without needing my parents consent) Planned Parenthood acted like I was just ordering the #5 combo meal from their fast food restaurant. There was no counseling, nothing. I beg , please, for any couple considering abortion don't do it! If you don't want your baby, I DO! Don't let anyone talk you into killing your child! My boyfriend said he would leave me, I wish he did. Then at least I would still have my precious baby.

Signed,
forever broken hearted

4/14/99

Dear Abortion TV,

I am a 20 year old woman who had an abortion 3 yrs. ago. I think it is appalling how these clinics lie. I was nine weeks pregnant and they told me my baby looked like was a piece of skin, that is had no heartbeat,or feeling. I had a friend recommend me to this website and I know its murder, and I know that if the clinic would actually tell the truth, there wouldn't be so many abortions. There is so much pain involved, not only physically, but mentally as well. That clinic never told me that I would feel bad about this later, or that it reduces my chance of having kids, or about the risks of breast cancer. All they wanted was my money. They don't care about these women, all they care about is getting that abortion done, and getting the money. I really like your site and I wish you the best of luck!

Please just sign me,

Anonymous

4/10/99

"Choice"- Here in the United States, we have freedom to choose in many situations. Our Humanistic public schools and society overall teach that right and wrong are simply relative. The laws of the land have declared that the unborn child has no right to life. A mother has the right to choose to end that unborn baby's life at anytime before birth for any reason or even no reason at all. Since our society legalized abortion in 1973, nearly forty million children have been brutally killed. A mother's womb is indeed a very dangerous place to be!

Taking a pro-choice stand is very popular. It is a philosophy I once embraced. To acknowledge another's "right" to make their own choices according to the dictates of their own conscience, on face value seems to be a loving and tolerant way to be. This may be true for benign choices, but upon deeper examination it is far from being true about other choices. Legalized abortion has victimized women, physically and psychologically. When a woman chooses to kill her unborn child she also kills a part of herself. When that child is killed within her, that child's "silent scream" echoes within the mother's heart forever.

My first two children were never given a chance at life outside the warm, supposedly safe, environment of my body. On February 28, 1979 and again on April 30, 1981, I paid a "doctor" to kill my Baby-- to take away my "problem". There were no protesters outside, no one there to tell me the truth. I bought into all the Pro-Choice lies and did not realize that I actually compounded my problems. I destroyed a part of myself when I made the "choice" to destroy my Babies. I have never felt "whole" since. They were very selfish choices. My Babies were sacrificed to the "god" of convenience and my grief is devastating.

At first I felt relief. I could go on happily with my life and pretend the whole thing never happened. I spent five years in total denial - burying my feelings and keeping myself too busy to feel. The next fifteen years of my life has been spent in emotional agony. It is only through prayer and the grace of God that I am able to come forward and I do so with the faith that someone else may be spared the nightmare I have lived.

Post-Abortion Syndrome is a very serious consequence of abortion. The trauma and secrecy that surrounds the abortion experience guarantees that most women will never step forward for help. That fact makes it difficult to estimate the true numbers of women that are affected. It may feel much safer to live in denial, and to even blame the depression, nightmares, and suicidal thoughts on anything else than to accept the tragic reality the woman chose to have her baby killed. Most women have never even allowed themselves to grieve over the loss of their baby. While those who promote abortion look at it as a way for women to achieve equality and freedom, in reality women are victimized by both psychological and physical consequences. Women will never achieve equality until they are treated with dignity and respect. Being pregnant and having children are privileges and should not be frowned upon by society.

In Loving Memory of My Babies

To my Dear Children,

Through my own selfishness and unwillingness to stand up for you when you were too young to speak out, I paid to have you executed. You committed no crime-- you were simply inconvenient and my pregnancy would have been embarrassing. You never had the chance to be held and feel loved. Instead you were violently torn apart and discarded. I am deeply regretful and sorry I did this to you. If abortion was illegal at the time, I would never have considered it to be my "choice". Because it was legal, I thought it was an acceptable "option". I was so very wrong. Please forgive me. I was dead wrong. I pledge to you my wonderful Children that I will work unceasingly to give others the information I never received. Abortion providers lie and don't tell the whole truth. This is an industry involving billions of $dollars$. It is an industry that exploits women and destroys children and families. As long as I have the breath of life, I will continue to help save others from my fate.

I long to hold you in my arms and I'll love you forever,

Mommy

4/8/99

I just celebrated my 21st birthday, and if I hadn't chosen to have an abortion just over a year ago I would be celebrating my child's very first birthday. The due date was May 23, 1998. A date that I will never in my life forget. To all the young ladies that are trying to find out as much information as you can on the internet or this web site in fact let me tell you first hand that there are many things you need to consider before making this decision. This decision will be one that you will NEVER forget! Read this web page and then ask yourself the question.....Why are you doing this? If you are having an abortion because anyone but yourself thinks this is the best choice for you, you need to rethink this. The choice I made haunts me everyday of my life. I never go a day without thinking of it and praying to God that he forgives me for what I have done. My heart goes out to any girl that has to make this decision. Your not alone and there are people out there that can help you with this.

Sincerely,

From someone who has been there

Please just sign me,

Anonymous

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